Child marriage in Islam is subject to the condition that it serve a clear and real interest

From my understanding, Islamic Law states that if a girl passes puberty, she is allowed to be married – regardless of whether she is 9, 11, 15 etc Does the law take into consideration her emotional and mental readiness to be married, despite the physical ability to be able to bear children? It disturbs me that young girls who pass puberty are automatically believed to be whole-heartedly ready for marriage and motherhood JUST because she is physically able to do so. Isnt it equally important that she is emotionally and mentality ready for this role?
Also – does Islamic Law also state that if a boy passes puberty (regardless of his age), he is ALSO allowed to be married?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

It is permissible for a man to arrange a marriage for his young son even if he has not reached puberty; it is also permissible for him to arrange a marriage for his young daughter even if she had not reached the age of puberty. It was narrated that there was consensus on this point, but that is provided that compatibility is taken into account and that a clear and real interest is served by this marriage.

Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

The scholars are unanimously agreed that the father may arrange a marriage for his young daughter without consulting her. The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) married ‘Aa’ishah when she was six years old. Continue reading

It was written in her marriage contract that she had received her mahr but she has not received it and she has started to resent her husband

I got married four years ago and it was written in the marriage contract that I had received the mahr. But in fact that is not true and I did not receive anything from him. Deep down in my heart I feel inferior because I have not got it and everyone around me has got their mahrs, and I have started to resent my husband. What is the ruling on this issue? What should I do to avoid haraam? Please note that my husband’s financial situation is better than before.

Praise be to Allaah.

The mahr is the woman’s right in her marriage, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart”

[an-Nisa’ 4:4]

“so with those of whom you have enjoyed sexual relations, give them their Mahr as prescribed”

[an-Nisa’ 4:24].

Agreement should be made on the mahr and it should be mentioned in the marriage contract; if no agreement has been reached and it is not mentioned in the marriage contract, the marriage is still valid and the woman should have a mahr like that of her peers.

You did not explain in your question whether agreement had been reached on a specific mahr or nor, or whether it was to be paid immediately or deferred. If there was agreement on something specific, it is obligatory to adhere to that and in that case what was written in the contract about you having received the mahr does not count for anything.

The wife has the right to demand her immediate mahr and to refuse to let her husband be intimate with her until he has given her her mahr. As for the deferred portion, she should not demand it unless the time for it comes. Continue reading

Ruling on a child born as the result of a marriage that was not officially documented

What is the ruling on a child who was born as a result of an ‘urfi marriage that was not documented? The shar‘i (legal) marriage contract was done after the child was born. Is this son legitimate? Is it regarded as zina (adultery) or not?
If it is regarded as zina, what is the shar‘i ruling?.

Praise be to Allaah.

The term ‘urfi marriage is used by people to refer to two types of marriage:

1.     Where the marriage fulfils all the conditions and necessary parts, the most important of which in this case are the agreement of the woman’s guardian and having the marriage witnessed, but it is not documented in the civil courts or it is not publicised among people. This is a valid marriage although it is a mistake not to have it documented, and there is no problem with attributing the child to his father in this kind of marriage.

2.     The second type is that to which people usually refer, which is when the woman gets married in secret, without the approval of her guardian. This is an invalid marriage and the partners must be separated.

Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: We hear about secret marriage, ‘urfi marriage, mut‘ah marriage and misyaar marriage. What is the shar‘i ruling on these marriages?

He replied: None of these types of marriage are permissible because they are contrary to sharee‘ah. The type of marriage that is permitted in sharee‘ah is that which is announced and which fulfils all the necessary parts of marriage and conditions required by sharee‘ah.

End quote from Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa, 20/428  Continue reading

She does not have any male relatives on her father’s side; can her mother’s husband or her brother through her mother be her wali (guardian) for the purpose of marriage?

There is a Sunni Muslim girl who is being cared for by her mother’s husband. She has received a marriage proposal from a compatible young man, but her mother’s husband is refusing to accept any marriage proposal for her because the girl is employed in a government department and he benefits from her salary. Is it permissible for her brothers through her mother to arrange her marriage? Please note that she does not have any full brothers, brothers through her father or paternal uncles, and the qaadi (judge) in our city is an Ithna-‘Ashari Shi‘i who does not rule according to the Qur’aan and Sunnah. Is her primary guardian in this case her mother’s husband or her brothers through her mother?.

Praise be to Allaah.

In order for the marriage to be valid, it is stipulated that it should be done by the wali (guardian) or his deputy, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a guardian and two witnesses of good character.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi from the hadeeth of ‘Imraan and ‘Aa’ishah. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘, no. 7557

And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” Narrated by Ahmad, 24417; Abu Dawood, 2083; al-Tirmidhi, 1102. classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘, no. 2709

At-Tirmidhi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: In this regard, what is to be acted upon is the hadeeth of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), “There is no marriage except with a guardian,” according to the scholars among the Companions of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), including ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib, ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Abbaas, Abu Hurayrah and others. End quote.

The woman’s guardian is her father, that his father (her paternal grandfather), then her son, then his son (this applies if she has a son), then her brother through her father and mother, then her brother through her father only, then her brother’s sons (her nephews), then her paternal uncles, then their sons, then the ruler. Continue reading

He divorced her before consummating the marriage and wants to take her back without her father knowing

I am from an Arab country and my husband did the shar‘i marriage contract with me, then the civil marriage. Now we are waiting for a visa so that I can join him in America. My husband is very hot-tempered and he does not know what he is saying when he gets angry, but he always regrets it after that. Whilst we were arguing over the Internet and he was very angry, he said to me “You are divorced (anti taaliq)”, one time only. Now he wants to take me back but he does not want anyone to hear about what happened, especially my parents. Is there any way to put things right without the family knowing?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

If this divorce took place before the marriage was consummated and before you were alone together, i.e., he was not alone with you in a place where no one could see you, then this is an irrevocable divorce, according to the consensus of the scholars, and it is not permissible for you to go back to him except with a new marriage contract that fulfils all the conditions, namely the consent of the wife and the wali (guardian) and the presence of two witnesses.  Continue reading

A new Muslimah is asking about problems in her marriage

Im worried if my marriage is valid, the ceremony was in english but the witnesses did Not understand english!(i even stopped the wedding but was told one was an imam, one hafiz!but not english speaking!)
2)the mahr was not given (and i didnt agree to delay)
3)the marriage was not properly consumated we found out on wedding night that he has “retarded ejaculation” (this means no chance of children or real satisfaction)
4) 2 days after marriage he left to do 40 days dower with tablighi jamaat i only had 1 fone call, to me this is not how to look after your family and how can you pay to do dower but not pay mahr? help i am a convert and need some advice please!
the appointed wali also conducted the ceremony and is my husbands friend. as i am revert i dont have family for maharam. i am doing so much dua but feel ashamed and embarrassed .

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

We ask Allah to make you steadfast in adhering to His religion and to guide you.

We are happy to hear of your coming to Islam and emerging from the darkness of kufr to the light of faith.

“Say: ‘In the Bounty of Allah, and in His Mercy (i.e. Islam and the Quran); -therein let them rejoice.’ That is better than what (the wealth) they amass”

[Yoonus 10:58].  Continue reading

A Christian woman married a Muslim without a wali (guardian); is her marriage valid?

I will apologize in advance for my lengthy questioning. I am a Christian woman who just recently married a Muslim man. Firstly after reading some of the info on your website I am questioning if we are actually married under Islamic law, as since I had no wali, the Imam who performed the nikah became my wali for the ceremony. We are speaking of divorce. He has moved out of my house, and I do not know where he is living. We only communicate via text messaging because he says he cannot control his emotions when talking over the phone. He never actually said I divorce you, but we told others that we were getting a divorce. I told him I don’t know how an Islamic divorce actually works, so I will handle the legal documents from the state, and he can handle the Islamic part, but I don’t think he even knows how to go about that. I should probably state that we have only been married for four months. I married him two weeks after he was released from prison, because he said that he could not live with me if we were not married. We had a previous relationship with several children involved before he went to prison and became a “practicing Muslim” I agreed to a lot of things in regards to Islam in our household, letting him teach the children about Islam, giving up a male friend that I had for numerous years before I knew him, no pork, no music, no alcohol, dressing conservatively, etc. I even agreed that once we could afford to, I would get my tubal ligation reversed, because he says it is against Islam for my tubes to be tied, (even though the surgery and a future pregnancy has the potential to cause me great harm). I never said that I would stop celebrating some holidays and he agreed. I never promised that I would convert either, but now this is a problem. He feels as though he cannot deal with me because I haven’t converted yet. I told him that I used to have a genuine interest in Islam, until he continuously “harassed me about it” I try to hold conversations with him, and he says unless it is about Islam, there is nothing to talk about. We are both not happy, but I don’t think that divorce is a good idea either. One major issue is that he feels as though I hate Islam, which I don’t, but I have said some not so nice things to him about Islam, because he constantly belittles me and is very condescending about my religion. Are we allowed to agree to disagree about our religious views? I also am very concerned that he is talking to women on Facebook, one who he has had a prior sexual relationship with, but he states that it is all innocent, he is only talking with them about Islam, but I was able to see messages where he asked several women if they were married or not, which I don’t feel is appropriate. He also made conversation with a woman from another country about flying her here to the US. How can he do this? He is not even taking care of me and our family. He has no money, or work, and I take care of us all, all 13 of us. A lot of things that he does and says seem to push me further away from Islam, because he seems so selfish and I feel like he uses Islam to excuse behaviors that I feel are inappropriate. We were once having relations in the bedroom, and we had not had intercourse yet, but he had already climaxed, so when we tried to have intercourse, because I hadn’t yet climaxed of course, he withdrew in the midst of it, got up, and said we’ll try later it’s time for prayer. I felt very hurt and ashamed, but he said he doesn’t have to justify anything to me. I thought Muslims were to treat their wives with kindness. He says that he can’t love me because I am not Muslim. Is this true? He also says that I am not allowed to talk to anyone about our marital problems, but what am I to do if I can’t even get him to talk to me about our problems? When I bring to his attention about facts in Islam, that he is not adhering to, he states that I am not a believer, and can’t tell him anything about Islam. I even told him some information that I learned from this website, that he also frequents, but he still says I have no right to question him, and that I am just fuel for the Hell-fire because obviously Allah has placed a veil over my heart. Please help.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

In order for the marriage to be valid, it is stipulated that the contract be done by the woman’s guardian.

The guardian of a Christian or Jewish woman is a male relative who is a follower of the same religion: her father, grandfather or brother… If there is no such relative or he refuses, then her marriage contract is to be done by the Muslim judge if there is one; if not, her marriage should be done by the director of the Islamic Centre in her locality, because the basic principle with regard to guardianship in the case of marriage is that it belongs to the father, then to male relatives, the closest then the next closest. If there are no male relatives or they are not qualified to be guardians for any reason, or if they refuse for no good reason, then guardianship passes to the ruler or one who takes his place.

Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah, 18/162  Continue reading

Is it permissible to agree not to have children or to stipulate that in the marriage contract?

Is it possible in a misyaar marriage to agree not to have children?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

We have discussed the ruling on misyaar marriage [Misyaar marriage is where a man does a shar‘i marriage contract with a woman, meeting the conditions of marriage, but the woman gives up some of her rights such as accommodation, maintenance or the husband’s staying overnight with her] in the answer to question no. 85369, where we stated that it is a valid marriage if it fulfils the conditions and essential parts of marriage and is free of any impediments, but it is not the best option because of what it leads to of harm and negative consequences, that we discussed there.  Continue reading

Her father forced her to get married; is this marriage valid and what is the ruling on intercourse in this case?

If a girl is married to a person which is not of his choice and the girl signed the nikah unwillingly by the force or fear of his father. so did this nikah happen or not .1. and no to. if the same girl refuse his husband for doing intercourse and the husband do it forcely so what is this. is this haram zana or jaiz.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

It is haraam for the guardian (wali) of the woman to force her to marry someone she does not want and does not like, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The virgin should not be given in marriage until her permission has been sought.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6968; Muslim, 1419.

The apparent meaning is that this is general and applies to every virgin and every guardian; there is no difference between a father or any other guardian, hence al-Bukhaari interpreted the hadeeth by saying: “Chapter: The father or other guardian should not give a virgin or previously married woman in marriage except with their consent.”

The woman’s guardian has to fear Allah with regard to his daughters and not give them in marriage to anyone except those with whom they are pleased from among men who are compatible and suitable. The guardian should only give her in marriage for her interests, not for his own. Continue reading

Enjoying looking at his wife with whom he has done the marriage contract via the internet

I am a young man who did the marriage contract (nikaah) then travelled to Saudi; I talk to my wife on the internet and it is possible for her to show me part of her body whilst talking to me. Is that haraam or halaal? Please note that I have done the marriage contract but have not consummated the marriage with her.

Praise be to Allaah.

It is permissible for a woman with whom the marriage contract has been done to uncover part of her body or adornment to the one who did the marriage contract with her, because she is his wife, and Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“5. And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts)

6. Except from their wives or (the slaves) that their right hands possess, __ for then, they are free from blame;

7. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors”

[al-Mu’minoon 23:5-7]. Continue reading