I am married and I have a mother who is blind. I work abroad and I leave my wife with my mother so that she can help her. I am abroad and sometimes I feel the urge to commit some sins such as looking at indecent websites and sometimes I fulfill my desire by means of the secret habit. Will my Lord forgive me because of my mother? Should I take my wife with me so as to avoid sin and leave my mother?.
Praise be to Allaah.
There is no doubt that the husband who goes away from his wife because of study or work and lives in a land far away from her is exposing himself and his wife to temptation and sins that have to do, in particular, with the gaze and the private parts. Hence we advise husbands to pay attention to this important matter and not stay away from the marital home so that they will not expose themselves and their wives to temptation that may lead to losses in both spiritual and worldly terms.
It is no secret to the Muslim that looking at indecent websites is haraam and causes damage to one’s spiritual well-being and religious commitment. We have discussed the ruling on this and ways to rid oneself of this in several answers. Please see the answers to questions no. 12301, 39923, 26985, 10459 and 7669
Allah, may He be exalted, has commanded men and women alike to lower their gaze. Being away from his wife does not give the husband an excuse to look at things that are forbidden to him, otherwise that would also be an excuse for his wife! And this is not something that Allah has prescribed. See the answer to question no. 20229, in which we have mentioned twenty-seven ways to help one lower one’s gaze. You will also find the benefits of lowering the gaze in the answer to question no. 22917. In the answer to question no. 33651, we have mentioned some ways of dealing with the fitnah of women. In the answer to question no. 20161 you will find a solution to the problem of desire and how to fulfil it. Continue reading