He divorced his wife to prove to his family that he’s not scared of her while not wanting to do so

I got marrried to a new Muslim who converted to Islam. After 2 weeks of marriage, problems started coming between my family and my wife since I live with my sister and my mother. After a month my mother and sister thought that I was under her spell and that I can’t see her true characters, so the following day they came to my room and we started arguing and my wife was there too. In the argument, i told my mother that if i divorce her in front of u will u believe that I’m not under her spell? And she said that you will never divorce her and that she didn’t believe me. So I divorced my wife in front of my mother. I loved my wife but I wanted to make her believe that I am not under her spell… does it count as a talaaq (divorce)? That’s the first thing I want to know and the second thing is that I’m a student of Islam in Medinah University so thanks to Allah that he gave me sabr (patience), but my wife has left me 3 times with my children (a boy and a girl) and she doesn’t have sabr. Now she lives at her friend’s house and will not come home to me. I keep telling her that it is not allowed in Islam to take a pause from marriage but she will not listen to me anymore, so just a month ago she asked for talaaq from me on my mobile phone but i didn’t want to give her talaaq, so she screamed at me and shouted at me to the extent that I got so angry, I turned my phone off. Then she called me after 2 minutes and I was still angry at her that when I answered the phone I said to her that I will give you what you want and I gave her talaaq on the phone. Does it count as talaaq? Because I didn’t want to give her talaaq; even if she has been asking me for talaaq for many months, I didnt give her talaaq because I was thinking of my children, but when she shouted at me and screamed at me on the phone I felt humiliated by her and got angry and gave her talaaq . I hope u can answer me very fast brother because I want to know if she is still my wife or not and I don’t want to see her without hijab if she is not my wife.

Praise be to Allaah.

First:

It is important for you to realize that divorce is a law from the laws of Allah and a limit from His limits that he has made clear for His slaves and warned them of crossing it or marginalizing it.

Allah, the Exalted said while clarifying divorce and its rulings (what means): “Divorce is twice. Then, either keep [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment. And it is not lawful for you to take anything of what you have given them unless both fear that they will not be able to keep [within] the limits of Allah. But if you fear that they will not keep [within] the limits of Allah, then there is no blame upon either of them concerning that by which she ransoms herself. These are the limits of Allah, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah – it is those who are the wrongdoers. And if he has divorced her [for the third time], then she is not lawful to him afterward until [after] she marries a husband other than him. And if the latter husband divorces her [or dies], there is no blame upon the woman and her former husband for returning to each other if they think that they can keep [within] the limits of Allah. These are the limits of Allah, which He makes clear to a people who know.” [2:29-230]

At the beginning of soorah at-Talaq, Allah, the Exalted says (what means): “O Prophet, when you [Muslims] divorce women, divorce them for [the commencement of] their waiting period and keep count of the waiting period, and fear Allah, your Lord. Do not turn them out of their [husbands’] houses, nor should they [themselves] leave [during that period] unless they are committing a clear immorality. And those are the limits [set by] Allah. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah has certainly wronged himself. You know not; perhaps Allah will bring about after that a [different] matter.” [65:1]

So Allah, the Exalted clarifies that opposing the laws which He prescribed for His slaves is turning away from what Allah has permitted and is an oppression of themselves by doing it.

The Prophet (may the Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) warned of the transgression of the transgressors and the jest of the jesters concerning His limits; An-Nasai reported from Mahmood ibn Labeed (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said: The Messenger of Allah (may the Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) was informed of a man who divorced his wife three divorces all together. So he stood up angrily and said: “Does he play with the book of Allah and I am amongst you!” Then a man stood up and said: Oh Messenger of Allah, shall I not kill him?! In Buloogh al Maram, al-Hafidh ibn Hajar said: Its narrators are reliable.

Abu Musa al Ash’ari (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (may the Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “What is the matter with people who play with the limits of Allah: I divorce you, I take you back, I divorce you, I take you back.” Reported by al-Bayhaqi in as-Sunan al-Kubra, declared sound by al Albani. Continue reading

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Will the members of a family all be together in Paradise?

Will the Muslim meet or be with those of his children who died or whom he lost on the Day of Resurrection? And how will that meeting be? Will they be meet as a family as they were in this world.

Praise be to Allaah.

Paradise is the abode of honour that Allah, may He be exalted, has prepared for His believing slaves. In it are delight and happiness such as have never entered the mind of man and no one has ever imagined. Whoever enters it will find true, eternal happiness and will have attained a great victory. Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“No person knows what is kept hidden for them of joy as a reward for what they used to do”

[as-Sajdah 32:17].

Part of the happiness that Allah has guaranteed to His believing slaves is that He will reunite the family, parents and children, after they all enter Paradise by the mercy of Allah and the intercession of Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). This promise is mentioned in the holy Book of Allah, in the verses that will be recited until the Day of Resurrection, in which Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And those who believe and whose offspring follow them in Faith, to them shall We join their offspring, and We shall not decrease the reward of their deeds in anything”

[at-Toor 52:21]. Continue reading

Is it obligatory for him to migrate from the West when his mother and family need him?

I need some good advice. Praise be to Allah, I am in a situation where it is possible for me to go to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and fulfil the obligation of Hajj. I have two master’s degrees and also a bachelor’s in teaching English as a foreign language, and the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia will accept me as an English-language teacher, in sha Allah. I have got some good offers and I am about to leave. 
But my mother is ill with fourth stage cancer and my father travels a great deal for his work. I have younger brothers and a sister, but they are very young and cannot help my mother and meet her needs. My mother loves my wife and my child and she wants to be always near them, but my mother does not want to live in Saudi Arabia; she wants to complete her treatment here in the USA, and she hates “the Arab race”! I do not want to live in the USA more than that, because I fear for my religious commitment. If I stay I will work in a mixed high school which is a source of fitnah (temptation). I am very anxious because they could prevent me from praying Jumu‘ah. There is a Muslim community very near my family (Masjid at-Tawheed in Atlanta), but I do not want to live in the West any more. I also have a debt (student loan) that I have repay and I know that it will be impossible to pay it in this country, but in Saudi Arabia I may be able to save money in sha Allah.
What should I do?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

We ask Allah to make you and your family steadfast in adhering to Islam and to enable you to obey Him. The one who is able to adhere to his religion in these days – especially in the West – is like one who is holding onto a hot coal. You have to fear Allah in secret and in public, and hasten to do good. Ask Allah a great deal to make you steadfast and Allah will help you and protect you.

The Muslim has to migrate for the sake of his religion from the lands of kufr and shirk. This life is very short and no one knows when his time will be up and death will come to him.

It was narrated that Jareer ibn ‘Abdullah said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “I have nothing to do with any Muslim who settled among the mushrikeen.”

Narrated by at-Tirmidhi, 1604; Abu Dawood, 2645. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi. Continue reading

She is refusing to travel with her husband because it is too difficult for her to live in a foreign country far away from her family

I am Egyptian, working in Saudi. I have got married and I agreed with my wife’s family that she would live with me in Saudi. They agreed and wet lived together for three years. But as time went by my wife began to find it too difficult to live in another country, and she asked me to go back to Egypt on the grounds that she cannot bear living on her own away from her family and her homeland, and she cannot adjust, even though she has tried to get used to living in Saudi. And she has repeatedly asked me to go back to Egypt. 
What is the Islamic ruling if my wife insists on this request, and gives up her residence permit and does not come back to live with me in Saudi even though I disagree with that?
What should I do so that I will not be wronging her?
Please note that my wife has spent her annual vacation in Egypt for a period of no less than three consecutive months, and I have a daughter from her who is six months old.

Praise be to Allaah.

If the husband travels and wants to take his wife with him, she has to accompany him and move with him, so long as she will be able to live a suitable life and will not be harmed by this travelling.

Imam Maalik (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

The husband has the right to travel with his wife from one country to another, even if she is reluctant, and he should spend on her.

End quote from Tahdheeb al-Mudawwanah, 1/421

Ibn Qudaamah said in al-Mughni (8/181):

The woman is entitled to maintenance from her husband, provided that she make herself completely available to her husband. If she refuses to make herself available or her guardians prevent her from doing so, then she is not entitled to maintenance, even if they stay together for a while. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) married ‘Aa’ishah and consummated the marriage with her after two years, and he did not spend on her maintenance until after he had consummated the marriage, and was not obliged to spend on her for the time that had passed, because maintenance becomes obligatory in return for the wife making herself available as is his right according to the marriage contract; if this condition is met she is entitled to it and if it is not met then she is not entitled to anything. Continue reading

He committed zina with a girl and wants to marry her, but her family are refusing and he has some questions

I was sexually involved with a girl who was from my relatives but far relatives. Her ammi asked her to leave me because near her i was misbehaving person. I misbehaved her then i felt regret and asked for her sorry i asked for her sorry i beg her to forgive me and i hold her legs and asked for her forgiveness, she said she has forgiven me but she said she will not marry her daughter with me.
Her daughter was with me since 5 years and we have committed zina uncountable times for which we both regret and ask for forgiveness from ALLAH.
the girl was sincere with me and i was sincere with her, she said we will both marry cause we have done zina. then after i misbehave with her ammi even i asked for her ammis forgivesness by sitting down in her legs and holding her legs, after which she was with me for almost 1 and half year. Her ammi kept telling her to leave me but she didnt leave me coz she was sincere with me and coz we had committed zina we both wanted to get married with each other, but suddenly she said she cant live with me and she left me. since 1 year i have tried my best to contact her even i gave her some threats (only for reason that she talks with me so i can make her understand that i will not repeat that type of behave in future and will do as she will say) but she didnt contact me and not talking with me after that.
I don’t know if her ammi has emotionally blackmailed her by telling her that she feeling pain in her left arms ( so she thinks her ammi is getting heart problem) or took promise from her that she wont talk with me im not sure but her ammi used to brain wash her by telling other peoples bad stories like someone beat her wife and someone has left her wife and someone gave divorce to her wife etc.she even said she has asked some baba( might be some religious person) that i will leave her after getting married. All i know is that ilm-e-gaib noone can tell.
1. Sir, my question is that what is the solution if we have committed zina shouldn’t we get married? if we get married will it decrease our gunah?
2. if we don’t get married our gunah can be forgiven by allah IF WE BOTH TAKE 100 LASHES? or simply just ask ALLAH for HIS forgivesness without taking 100 lashes?
3. If she wants to get married and her ammi is not letting us then we deserve the same gunah of 100 lashes?
4. If girl has changed her mind from marrying because of her ammi while i ( boy) still wants to get married for the sake of gunah of zina he has committed with this girl. if girl don’t want to get married even she knows that she should get married with a person she has committed zina what will be the degree of gunah for the boy and for the girl?
5. if girl don’t get married because of her ammi, who will be responsible for the gunah that she is committing by not getting married with the same person her ammi or she will?
6. if the girl don’t marry with that same person what will be the degree of the zina’s gunah for the boy even if he wants to get married?
I will be very thankful to you if you will give your precious time in answering my questions

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

You should understand that you have a problem with regard to your religious commitment, and that is the greatest of calamities. You should also understand that the evil act of zina is one of the greatest sins that Allah forbids to His slaves and has highlighted to them its evil consequences. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a Fahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits (a great sin)), and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allah forgives him)”

[al-Isra’ 17:23].  Continue reading

She ran away from her family’s home and married a Christian; is she entitled to a share of her father’s estate?

My younger sister ran away from the family home when she was sixteen years old. My parents tried very hard to convince her to come back, but she refused and said that she no longer wanted to be part of this family. There has been very little contact between us and her during the last twenty years. Now my father has died. 
1. Is my sister entitled to a share of what my father left behind?
2. Is there anything wrong with her marrying a Christian man and saying that her children are free to choose between Islam and Christianity?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

The factors that determine whether one person inherits from another are three: blood ties (kinship), marriage and wala’ (relationship between a freed slave and his former master). And the impediments to inheritance are three: being a slave, being the murderer of the deceased, and being of different religions. The fact that your sister ran away from the family home does not alter the fact that she is the daughter of your parents. This means that she comes under the heading of kinship by virtue of which she is entitled to inherit from them so long as she has not apostatised from Islam.

The fact that she ran away from the family home does not deprive her of her right to inherit from your father, even if she has stayed away from her parents’ home for a long time. And we do not know of any difference of scholarly opinion concerning that.  Continue reading

Family gatherings on the Prophet’s birthday and ‘Ashoora’

Is it permissible to have family gatherings – among brothers and cousins – and to eat together on special occasions and Eids (by special occasions I mean the Prophet’s birthday, ‘Ashoora’ etc)? What is the ruling on one who does that? And what about gatherings after someone had memorized or completed the Qur’aan?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Undoubtedly exchanging visits and getting together with brothers, cousins and relatives on the Eids that are prescribed in Islam (namely Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha), and on happy occasions, is something that brings happiness and increases love and strengthens the bonds between relatives. But what happens in many of these family gatherings, such as mixing between men and women, even if they are relatives and cousins, are bad customs that go against the teachings of the Qur’aan and Sunnah, which enjoin lowering the gaze and forbid wanton display, being alone with a member of the opposite sex (khulwah), shaking hands with non-mahram women, and all the things that lead to fitnah. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned against the dangers of taking matters lightly with relatives. He said: “Beware of entering upon women.” A man from among the Ansaar said: “O Messenger of Allaah, what do you think about the in-law?” He said: “The in-law is death.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4934; Muslim, 2172. Al-Layth ibn Sa’d said: The in-law is the brother and similar relatives of the husband, his cousin and so on. It was also narrated by Muslim. (See question no. 1200 for more discussion on the issue of mixing).  Continue reading

To whom should condolences be offered among the family of the deceased?

If someone dies, to whom should we offer condolences among his family?.

Praise be to Allaah.

It is mustahabb to offer condolences to everyone who is affected by the loss of the deceased, old or young, except a child who has not reached the age of understanding, or a young woman, to whom only her mahrams should offer condolences, according to what we said previously in the answer to question no. 157874.

It says in Kashshaaf al-Qinaa‘, 2/169: It is mustahabb to offer condolences to the bereaved family, even children and even friends of the deceased and so on, such as neighbours of the deceased. End quote.  Continue reading

Does the wife has the right to know about the family budget?

I would like to know how much the wife can ask her husband about family budget, our expenses, loans etc…I feel not comfortable if my husband hide some of these things. Is that normal the husband to share all this with me? Or i ask to much? Sometimes i feel he feels uncomfortable when i start asking him. Our budget is together, i give him my salary, if i need something i always ask him.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

Islam has made it obligatory upon the husband to spend on his wife on a reasonable basis, according to what he can afford. And it does not oblige the wife to spend on herself even if she is rich, except with her willing consent, and that is by way of kindness and helping her husband.

Among the things that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said in his sermon during the Farewell Pilgrimage is the following: “Fear Allaah with regard to women …  Their rights over you are that you should provide for them and clothe them in a reasonable manner.”

Narrated by Muslim, 1218.

An-Nawawi said in Sharh Muslim, 8/184: This indicates that it is obligatory to spend on the wife’s maintenance and clothing. This is established by scholarly consensus. End quote.  Continue reading

How to uphold family ties without free mixing

I am very confused about the subject of free mixing, and have been reading the fatwas regarding this subject on your website. In my opinion, and I could be wrong, there is a contradiction between fatwa 79549, stating that it is not permissible for a man to teach girls without a barrier, and fatwa 113431, stating that it is permissible for a girl to remain at a mixed university because of her “social situation”.
Where I live, in Morocco, free mixing is normal during family gatherings and even with friends, and many imams there say that it is permissible, with no guidelines as far as how the women should be covered. Of course I completely disagree with this. How is one supposed to uphold family ties when it is always in a mixed environment? We can invite them to our house, where there would be no mixing, but they still want us to go to their house. Do we go to their house anyway, knowing that there will be much fitna, with free mixing and unveiled women? May Allah guide our Oumma to the straight path.
I just dont see how one can avoid all of these problems, but I believe it is our duty to do so as much as possible. Basically, my question is, which one is the bigger priority, upholding family ties? Or avoiding an environment where there is free mixing, men speaking openly with women, who are also unveiled in most cases? Also, are we allowed to refuse an invitation if we know the environment will be as the one described above? Also, who is the family with whom we must uphold family ties? Does it include cousins (even if they are of the opposite sex), or only mahrams?.

Praise be to Allaah.

It is good that you believe that it is one of our duties to do our best to avoid that haraam free mixing. Let us tell you that we do not object to upholding family ties at all; rather we promoted and encourage that, because it is part of upholding the ties of kinship (silat al-rahm) that is enjoined upon us by Allah and His Messenger.

But more important than that, the questioner should understand that there is no contradiction between the two matters at all. It is possible to keep away from haraam free mixing and it is also possible to uphold ties of kinship. Islam enjoins both matters, so it is not possible for there to be any contradiction between them.  Continue reading