Child marriage in Islam is subject to the condition that it serve a clear and real interest

From my understanding, Islamic Law states that if a girl passes puberty, she is allowed to be married – regardless of whether she is 9, 11, 15 etc Does the law take into consideration her emotional and mental readiness to be married, despite the physical ability to be able to bear children? It disturbs me that young girls who pass puberty are automatically believed to be whole-heartedly ready for marriage and motherhood JUST because she is physically able to do so. Isnt it equally important that she is emotionally and mentality ready for this role?
Also – does Islamic Law also state that if a boy passes puberty (regardless of his age), he is ALSO allowed to be married?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

It is permissible for a man to arrange a marriage for his young son even if he has not reached puberty; it is also permissible for him to arrange a marriage for his young daughter even if she had not reached the age of puberty. It was narrated that there was consensus on this point, but that is provided that compatibility is taken into account and that a clear and real interest is served by this marriage.

Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

The scholars are unanimously agreed that the father may arrange a marriage for his young daughter without consulting her. The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) married ‘Aa’ishah when she was six years old.

He divorced her a third time during a period of purity in which he had had intercourse with her

I divorced my wife for the 3rd time during an extreme anger outburst today. I have never been so angry and lost control of my normal thinking due to the anger.
The divorce also took place during a period of purity wherein I have had intercourse with my wife.
I regretted what I said very soon after I pronounced the divorce.
Can you please tell me whether the marriage is still valid, or is it finished now?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

Divorce (talaaq) as prescribed in Islam is that in which a man divorces his wife during a period of purity in which he has not had intercourse with her. If he divorces her when she is menstruating or bleeding following childbirth (nifaas), or during a period of purity in which he has had intercourse with her, then this is an innovated divorce (talaaq bid‘i)

The fuqaha’ differed as to whether it counts as such. The majority are of the view that it does count as such, but some are of the view that it does not, because it is a haraam, innovated divorce, and Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “O Prophet (SAW)! When you divorce women, divorce them at their Iddah (prescribed periods)” [at-Talaaq 65:1]. What is meant is: when they are pure (not menstruating) and their husbands have not had intercourse with them. Among those who were of this opinion was Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him), who was followed by a number of scholars.

It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah (20/58): There are several types of innovated divorce (talaaq bid‘i), such as when a man divorces his wife when she is menstruating or bleeding following childbirth (nifaas), or during a period of purity in which he has had intercourse with her. The correct view is that this does not count as such. End quote.

Based on that, if you divorce your wife during a period of purity in which you have had intercourse with her, then it does not count as such according to the more correct view.

He wants her as a second wife without telling the first; should she accept?

I am divorced with children . somebody has proposed me to be his second wife without telling his first wife.. but i am afraid he wont be fair since he is already out of town a lot..
would it be permissible to me to inform the fist wife (since i know her) to let her know about the situation .. i feel is the only way i would accept this marriage.. knowing that he does not have to lie about where he is and so on..
please advice.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

You should choose for yourself a man who is of good character and religiously committed, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one whose religious commitment and attitude pleases you, then marry [your female relative who is under your care] to him, for if you do not do that, there will be tribulation on earth and much corruption.” Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (1084) from the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him)’classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi.

This may be found out by researching about the man and asking his friends and neighbours, and the imam of his mosque; you should not base your decision on emotions or unverified claims.

If you are fortunate enough to find a man who is of good character and is religiously committed, then you have been blessed with something good. This is the one who is expected to be fair and just, and to fulfil duties and obligations.

She wants to marry a man but her mother rejected him

I wanted to b a second wife but my mum is against it,then i found some one else but hes not from my state and she’s still against him too. what should I do? I love him very much. should I obey her again?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

It is well known that the marriage contract should be done by the woman’s guardian, namely her father, then her son if she has one, then her grandfather, then her brother, according to the order of closeness of male relatives on the father’s side. The mother cannot act as the guardian in the case of marriage, although the mother is greatly entitled to honour and kind treatment, and it is obligatory to obey her, whereas marriage to a particular man is not obligatory. Hence you should try to convince your mother to agree to you marrying this suitor – if he is acceptable in terms of religious commitment and character – and you can point out to her his good qualities and the advantages of marrying him. If she agrees to that, all well and good. But if she insists on rejecting him, then you are obliged to obey her and honour her.

Secondly:

The suitor or fiancé is a stranger (non-mahram) to the woman to whom he has proposed marriage, so it is not permissible for there to be any relationship between them or any meeting, shaking hands or being alone together. If your saying that you love him very much is because you have heard good things about him or that has come about without committing any haraam actions, then there is no sin on you, but if it is love that stems from any haraam actions such as looking or spending time together, then what you have to do is repent to Allah, may He be exalted, and avoid the things that lead to fitnah and haraam actions.

Whatever the case, what you must do now is cut off contact with him and treat him as a stranger with whom you have no relationship, until the marriage contract is done.

We advise you to fear Allah, may He be exalted, remember that He is always watching, and ask Him to bless you with a righteous husband.

And Allah knows best.

Can a Suitor Lie to the Non-Muslim Family of the Girl He Wants to Marry and Say He is Unmarried

Last year I came to know of this brother who teaches Islamic classes and also through da’wah work. He seems to be like a religious brother (Hafiz of Qur’an and organizes Islamic activities maasha’Allah), and Allah knows best.
This brother will be getting married this year, and then wants to marry me next year insha’Allah (as I would like to get married after I graduate from unviersity insha’Allah)…so that would make me his second wife.
The issue is – my family is not Muslim (non-practicing Shi’a, atheist, agnostic, etc) – since two male family members have spoken to me about the topic of polygamy already, I suspect that they would ask any suitor if he has other wives.
I asked the person going between me and the brother how he could answer that…because I believe my family would only accept ‘no, I don’t’ as an answer and if he said that, that would be lying.
His response was that it is permissible to lie in this situation to prevent family ties being broken.
I’m really unsure about if this would be a permissible situation for him to lie in? Do you think I should enter into this marriage? I would appreciate your advice.

Praise be to Allaah.

First:

If you have a Muslim guardian, he would be the one handling your marriage and the suitor would need to answer him truthfully if he were to ask him about that. The guardian has the right to look into these matters for the benefit of his principal and to enlighten her on matters she may not perceive the outcomes of.

And if you do not have a Muslim guardian from your relatives, your marriage should be handled by the Imam of an Islamic Centre, or someone similar who has a position of respect among the Muslim community and your relatives would have no authority over you. In that case we could say: If the suitor is a pious man and you fear that if he were to inform them of his previous marriage they would refuse him, then he can use what is known as tawriyah, which is basically the use of speech which can be understood in different ways (intending for them to understand other than the reality). For example, he may say: “I did not marry (i.e. a year ago)”. But he should beware of saying: “I am not married” or “I don’t have a wife” as that is considered as an implicit divorce according to some jurists and the divorce would be valid if he had that intention. 

He Divorced Her Several Times and She Doesn’t Know if She’s Still His Wife or Not

I left my husband 18 months ago due to his unreasonable behaviour. He has beat me, spat on me, given me his urine to put in my mouth, put chilli in my eyes, put a knife to my neck and told me to say the shahada because he was going to kill me.
Before I left him, he told me on two occasions Talaq (divorce), you are not my wife and we are finished. After I left him he told me on the phone you are talaq (divorced), and after a few months he said again I divorce you 10 times. But after each time he would after a while kiss or touch me sexually. About two months ago he said he wanted us to get back together. I said no, I want to divorce and go to the mosque to end the marriage. His reply was, I divorce you and I am not going to any mosque ever, then 10 minutes after saying this he sexually grabs me in public. Although he hid it, I moved away from him and he said I want you and I replied I will never return back to live with him. We have a little girl together who is very hurt by his actions. Am I divorced from him by all the times he has announced talaq. I took him to court and was granted a 3 year restraining order against him. Thank you and may Allah bless you for all the good you are doing for many oppressed Muslim women who like myself are reverts and have no family to protect and defend them.

Praise be to Allaah.

First:

The husband’s saying “you are not my wife” and “we are finished” is not from the explicit wordings of divorce and so divorce does not take effect unless that was the intent of the husband. He must be consulted to know this.

He divorced his wife (talaaq) five times!

After 21 years of marriage we have had major problems for the last 4 years. Basically I have discovered some reasons for our marriage taking place originally which are not nice, I am pretty sure people arranging the marriage thought about personal gain when it comes to overseas marriages etc and not thought too much about me, she has basically said she wants to arrange the marriage of our children and she will decide where and to whom. In October 2010 I said to my wife “From me you have Talaq, its over” (No Witnesses). In December 2010 she forced herself on me and I did respond. In February 2011 I said “you have my second talaq” (No Witnesses), she said “one is enough”. In March 2011 In the heat of the moment I said “You are not my wife” (Children were present) . In May 2011 “I said you have my third Talaq” (In front of most family) and since that time we have been completely separate in different houses. In August I wrote “I divorce you” then signed it and gave it in front of whole family but next day I admitted to my children I did not mean it. Since January to August 2011 due to a lot of factors including lack of sleep and an illness I was not 100% mentally well, I was having obsessive jealous thoughts about someone else and I was obsessed with our problems ie going over them over and over again each day. For the first talaq I was of sound mind but depressed, For the later ones I was in extreme uncontrollable anger especially the one I had written down, I was shaking with anger and saying many things to my brothers, aunts, uncles etc. Since August 2011 I am of sound mind as I have made sure I sleep properly, I have got medical treatment and have distanced our problem from my mind, so I can make a decision about it in the long distance future. I am worried about my children so would be grateful for an answer. Are we islamically divorced? Can we get back together, she still wants to.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

We have previously discussed the ruling on divorce issued in a state of anger, and we have stated that divorce issued in a state of extreme anger in which a person does not have control of himself does not count as such.

See the answer to question no. 22034 and 45174

Based on that, if the second, third, fourth and fifth divorces (talaaqs) were all issued by you in a state of extreme anger, they do not count as such.

The divorce that does count as such is only one, namely the first divorce that you issued when you were not angry. And you can resume life with your wife in a natural manner, whilst striving to gain self-control, and so not hasten to utter the word of divorce every time there is a difference of opinion or argument.

Fake divorce in the court so that the wife can get assistance from the state

My father is Syrian and my mother is Emirati, and we live in the Emirates. The Emirates government gives assistance to divorced Emirati women and also gives a loan, to be repaid in instalments, to build a house. Can my father divorce my mother in the court, not with the intention of really divorcing her (talaaq), but only in order to obtain this assistance and to get the loan to build a house, because we are a big family and my father has two wives, and we are twenty people. My father’s intention is not really to divorce my mother; rather it is for the purpose of obtaining the assistance. If it is not halaal, he will divorce her and make that sacrifice so that we can get the house, because life is full of difficulties.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

Allah has ordained divorce (talaaq) to dissolve the marriage contract, which is a firm and strong covenant. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant” [an-Nisa’ 4:21].

No one has the right to use divorce except in a serious manner and for a reason.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The Lawgiver forbids treating the verses (laws) of Allah as a jest or to speak of the verses of Allah that are covenants, except in a serious manner that shows commitment to the shar‘i conditions and obligations. Hence it is forbidden to take them as a jest as it is also forbidden to engage in a tahleel marriage (in which an irrevocably divorced woman marries another man with the intention of getting divorced so that she can go back to her first husband). This is indicated by the words of Allah (interpretation of the meaning): “And treat not the Verses (Laws) of Allah as a jest” [al-Baqarah 2:231]. And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon) said: “What is wrong with people who play with the limits of Allaah and take His verses (laws) as a jest, and one of them says, ‘I divorce you, I take you back, I divorce you, I take you back’?” Thus it is established that tampering with them (the laws and limits set by Allah) is haraam.

He divorced his wife to prove to his family that he’s not scared of her while not wanting to do so

I got marrried to a new Muslim who converted to Islam. After 2 weeks of marriage, problems started coming between my family and my wife since I live with my sister and my mother. After a month my mother and sister thought that I was under her spell and that I can’t see her true characters, so the following day they came to my room and we started arguing and my wife was there too. In the argument, i told my mother that if i divorce her in front of u will u believe that I’m not under her spell? And she said that you will never divorce her and that she didn’t believe me. So I divorced my wife in front of my mother. I loved my wife but I wanted to make her believe that I am not under her spell… does it count as a talaaq (divorce)? That’s the first thing I want to know and the second thing is that I’m a student of Islam in Medinah University so thanks to Allah that he gave me sabr (patience), but my wife has left me 3 times with my children (a boy and a girl) and she doesn’t have sabr. Now she lives at her friend’s house and will not come home to me. I keep telling her that it is not allowed in Islam to take a pause from marriage but she will not listen to me anymore, so just a month ago she asked for talaaq from me on my mobile phone but i didn’t want to give her talaaq, so she screamed at me and shouted at me to the extent that I got so angry, I turned my phone off. Then she called me after 2 minutes and I was still angry at her that when I answered the phone I said to her that I will give you what you want and I gave her talaaq on the phone. Does it count as talaaq? Because I didn’t want to give her talaaq; even if she has been asking me for talaaq for many months, I didnt give her talaaq because I was thinking of my children, but when she shouted at me and screamed at me on the phone I felt humiliated by her and got angry and gave her talaaq . I hope u can answer me very fast brother because I want to know if she is still my wife or not and I don’t want to see her without hijab if she is not my wife.

Praise be to Allaah.

First:

It is important for you to realize that divorce is a law from the laws of Allah and a limit from His limits that he has made clear for His slaves and warned them of crossing it or marginalizing it.

Allah, the Exalted said while clarifying divorce and its rulings (what means): “Divorce is twice. Then, either keep [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment. And it is not lawful for you to take anything of what you have given them unless both fear that they will not be able to keep [within] the limits of Allah. But if you fear that they will not keep [within] the limits of Allah, then there is no blame upon either of them concerning that by which she ransoms herself. These are the limits of Allah, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah – it is those who are the wrongdoers. And if he has divorced her [for the third time], then she is not lawful to him afterward until [after] she marries a husband other than him. And if the latter husband divorces her [or dies], there is no blame upon the woman and her former husband for returning to each other if they think that they can keep [within] the limits of Allah. These are the limits of Allah, which He makes clear to a people who know.” [2:29-230]

At the beginning of soorah at-Talaq, Allah, the Exalted says (what means): “O Prophet, when you [Muslims] divorce women, divorce them for [the commencement of] their waiting period and keep count of the waiting period, and fear Allah, your Lord. Do not turn them out of their [husbands’] houses, nor should they [themselves] leave [during that period] unless they are committing a clear immorality. And those are the limits [set by] Allah. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah has certainly wronged himself. You know not; perhaps Allah will bring about after that a [different] matter.” [65:1]

So Allah, the Exalted clarifies that opposing the laws which He prescribed for His slaves is turning away from what Allah has permitted and is an oppression of themselves by doing it.

The Prophet (may the Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) warned of the transgression of the transgressors and the jest of the jesters concerning His limits; An-Nasai reported from Mahmood ibn Labeed (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said: The Messenger of Allah (may the Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) was informed of a man who divorced his wife three divorces all together. So he stood up angrily and said: “Does he play with the book of Allah and I am amongst you!” Then a man stood up and said: Oh Messenger of Allah, shall I not kill him?! In Buloogh al Maram, al-Hafidh ibn Hajar said: Its narrators are reliable.

Abu Musa al Ash’ari (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (may the Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “What is the matter with people who play with the limits of Allah: I divorce you, I take you back, I divorce you, I take you back.” Reported by al-Bayhaqi in as-Sunan al-Kubra, declared sound by al Albani.

Getting a civil divorce to avoid prison for the husband who has another wife

I have a situation that is causing a dilemma. I married Islamically and registered my marriage in a civil court in America. My husband is muslim and so I am. I recently found out after my marriage that my husband has a first wife and that I am his second wife now. His first wife lives in Jordan and he says he does not have any physical contact with her and he hardly goes to Jordan to see her but it was a family marriage when he was young. We both love each other but are confused as in America our marriage is considered invalid and hence bigamy. We dont want a divorce but it seems if we don’t then he might go to jail if they decide to charge him. Can we get a civil divorce but still be married islamically. He says he can’t divorce his first wife because of inter-marriages in the family that it will cause more divorces within the family. He also a child with her. I am so confused. I thought I was the first wife but turned out I was the second. Now in America, I am afraid that if they annull my marriage then I will not be married islamically. How can we get out of this situation or will I have to lose my marriage?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

You should find out what will result from the civil divorce such as rulings having to do with children, inheritance, mahr and maintenance. If you have a child, will you be able to attribute him to his father? If one of you dies, will the other be able to inherit? How will you be able to prove your rights to maintenance and the deferred portion of the mahr, if there is any?

If you can avoid these negative consequences, and the possibility of your husband going to prison is a real one, then there is nothing wrong with you getting a civil divorce.